Alright, lets just agree that this day is gonna suck, theres nothing to be done about it. I’m having an anxiety/panic episode, its already happening so its not like I can stop it. The things I enjoy doing are making me feel anxious and Im always crying so… what is there I can do to take care of myself?
Well I’m gonna eat first cause I’m still really hungry. I will take a shower and wash my hair, then I’ll make myself cappuccino with marshmallows. Those are good things.
I’m going to lie facedown on the floor for the rest of the year now ok.
What chance do I have that I can respond to my boss’ text that says “that’s priority on Jan 4″ saying I’m not at work until the 4th without him telling me to start working on the 2nd. And I don’t have enough credit on my phone so I have to write to him on Messenger and I thought about not even writing to him but then he’ll call me on the 2nd and I don’t want to go in, I want to lie that I’m not even home.
I dropped my laptop last night and I couldn’t fall asleep until 4AM and I woke up several times in cold sweat so I think it was this premonition.
I like living with my mum don’t get me wrong she gets my quiet phases (there’s a lot of them) and she listens when I talk and I feel like I’m doing the same for her and we help each other out and we’re here to listen to the other complain and it’s good really I feel guilty just by implying it’s not good but I always wonder what it would be like to live with people who actively share my interests and people I can actively engage in conversations about stuff we’re passionate about, hobbies, writing, anything, like people around my age, that must be so cool.
HELP I don’t have a URL for 2018.
I dreamt that Tom Smith was giving a solo concert where he would play his own songs from his solo project to be released soon and it was held at a school and naturally I went, and we set at these school desks that were really weird but anyway, the concert started and the first song was this nice instrumental one and then Tom played another one that had singing but I don’t remember much of it.
Anyway the dream turned weird when he started questioning us after the song o_o Like about the themes of the song and the deeper meaning or whatever. I was thinking how stupid it is cause nobody goes to a concert to loudly voice their analysis after every song and I felt sorry for everyone who was forced to speak up cause then the mood became so tense and shit, like Tom refused to keep playing until we gave him the good answer x) And I even said that I wasn’t even paying attention to the lyrics cause I was just really happy to hear new music.
So then he was like okay well I’ll play it again and then we’ll go through this again. And then that time the song had Hungarian lyrics for some reason, whatever. That’s when I decided to ditch the room like I thought I’d come back later when hopefully we’ve moved onto the next song but it was like half past nine by that point. Annnnyway I walked around the school a bit that also had some weird stuff but it’s pointless to remember what, so when I went back to the classroom I entered a few that weren’t the right ones, and for some reason there were still classes at 10PM.
And then I found the concert room but it was almost empty and there was a real teacher by the blackboard like writing down stuff on it. I asked the few remaining people what happened and they said, someone I actually knew but I no longer remember who it was, that Tom was offended by me leaving so he just stopped the concert altogether.
I was like, well geez if it’s so important to him that everybody sits through his shitty concert then maybe he shouldn’t make it shitty, and then I thought about writing to him on twitter but he no longer uses twitter.
I was so upset that he disappointed me a few months before the new album and the birthday concert x)
I dreamt that I wanted to kill iDubbbz and his girlfriend (in a video game, don’t worry) but I liked iDubbbz so much in person that I started feeling guilty and I didn’t kill them. But then the girl found something in my bag that implied I wanted to kill them and then I had to explain that I changed my mind because iDubbbz was such a nice person (which is why I should’ve known from the beginning that this was a dream).
person in painkiller commercial: it made the pain go away in an instant! ^^
me, a person with chronic pain: iT MAdE thE paIn gO aWay In An InSTanT
One (but only one) bad thing about forgetting to take your meds is that you suffer until the next time you can take them.
I got so many new followers in the past week or so which does wonders for my ego but I’ve also been running a queue mostly while I’m away which means y’all fucking love my blog when I’m not here which is a little sad but I’ll take what I can get ngl.
Pass Through Fire 