go to bed jim
Tag: amazing
petition to remove the ‘d’ from wednesday
wednesay
not what i had in mind but im flexible
sneeze on your knuckles before a fight in order to inflict poison damage
When you were a kid in poland and saw the polish word for “roadwork” for the first time
Roboty drogowe ahead? Yeah I sure hope it does (include robots)
“Are you ticklish” is such a loaded question. If you say no they’ll test it. If you say yes they’ll test it. Just tickle me. Get it over with. Subject me to this horror soon so that I may begin my healing process.
My 7th grade English teacher told us the proper response to “are you tickleish?” Is “I have diarrhea”
Another solution: Just sucker punch them in the god damn face before they can move a muscle.
“In the words of Mark Twain’s wife, Shania Twain, ‘that don’t impress me much’”
it’s so fucked up at there’s only like 25 blimps in the entire world
24 now
it’s so fucked up that there’s now only 23 blimps left in the world
im not even a blimp & this still feels threatening
The orbit of Jupiter protects the Earth from asteroids.
a silent guardian, a watchful protector
lol look at mercury go that wild bastard
can they like release new vegetables
i spilt lipstick in your valentino bag
OH, Y OU SPILA̶U̶G̸N̵B̵D̷A̷U̷H̸N̴A̵U̷G̵H̵-
this vine is 1000 times funnier in text form
this is the new meme for February, y’all
famous vines in text form
Four female ghost busters? The feminists are taking over!
DU DU DU-
IM AN ADULT VIRGIN
CHRIS!1! Is tHaT A WeEd?!
No, this is a crayo-
I’M CALLING THE POLICE!111!!11!111
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
911, what’s your emergency?
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT
sO i’M SiTTiNG ThERe
Barbecue sauce on my titties
STAHP
I COULD’VA DROPPED MY
Croissant
I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY
here he comes
I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY
Calling people daddy is gross
Stop kink shaming me
Kink shaming IS my kink
HHA-AHH
What do you have?
A KNIFE!!!
NO!
Why does he have a knife?ah, you can’t sit with us 🙂
actually Megan, I can’t sit ANYWHERE. I have
Hemorrhoids
ibroughtyoufrankincense
thank you
and i brought you myrrh
thank you
myrrh-DER
hhhhJUDAS. NO-
I am THE SAND GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN of the SAND.
Poseidon quivers before him!
…
fuck off!
I SAW YOU HANGIN OUT WITH KATELYN YESTERDAY
R-REBECCA IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK
I WON’T HESITATE
BITCH
*pew*
And they were roommates!
Omg, they were roommates
WHaT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE
THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T
FUCKING
LOVE YOU
two bros
Chilling in a
Hot tub
Five feet apart cause they’re
NOT GAY
*huff*
*face of ultimate betrayal & disbelief*
AdUHM
Pass Through Fire 