You guys have known me long enough for me to tell you this but I’ll still put it under a read more cause it’s fucking gross, if you’re iffy about ear-things just scroll on by.

On Friday when I was tossing and turning at my great-grandma’s place I was lying on my side and when I lifted my head from the pillow I could barely hear anything it was like my ear was clogged. It got better by morning but today I asked my mum to like, wash it, you know when you take a syringe and a plastic tube, put a warm, salty solution in the syringe and pump it through your ear at high pressure? It’s pretty much what they do in hospitals.

So she did that today and I shit you not the thing that came out was so big it felt like she sucked out an entire ORGAN out through my ear. Holy shit that thing was IN MY EAR how could I hear ANYTHING?!

I feel like I have to name it and bury it in a tiny casket, put a little headstone there, call the local newspaper and publish an obituary.