Tag: xD

theyellowbrickroad:

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

sixohsixoheightfourtwo:

weloveshortvideos:

british summer is here.

[rain pouring] [thunder rumbling] [car horn blaring]
“go on. wheyyyyyyy!! Oh no.”
[in distance: “YOU IDIOT”, uproarious laughter]
“why would you go through that. what are you doing. ahhh no, he’s actually floating!”
“well of course he is. what a fucking bellend!”
“what a knobhead!”
“fucking hell.”

https://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/pass-throughfire/171781908400/tumblr_mit8xn6VHu1qlb4w6?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://pass-throughfire.tumblr.com/post/171781908400/audio_player_iframe/pass-throughfire/tumblr_mit8xn6VHu1qlb4w6?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fpass-throughfire%2F171781908400%2Ftumblr_mit8xn6VHu1qlb4w6

ouidamforeman:

sovietsofficial:

letsgomindthestore:

sjaukes:

johnthedragon:

paulsentertainmentplatform:

so i used something called infinite jukebox to cut out every other beat of this song and

well

here ya go

250 miles

I’m having a fucking stroke

*vaguely scottish noises*

when I whmp, well I nunna be,
wanna be who wakes to you.
when I gwmp, ay I nonna be, 
wanna be who go wih you.

if I *SLAM*, well I nonna be,
wanna be who geks to you.
if I heh, ay I nonna be, 
wanna be who’s into you.

but hwn wive head manna ood wive hun,
must’ve done mcwhaff an’ puff aodood.

when I’m wock, yes I nonna be, 
nunna be who’s wock for you.
an’ na mungeh, well then fuck I do,
I subley plin to you.

an’ I clankahoe I nunna be,
unna be who coal to you.
if I brokhe, well I nonna be,
unna be who’s cold with you.

but wood wive hen manna hood wive hun,
musta dub mcwhaff an’ *bloop* muff aonouds

nahnahnah, dahdahdah,
nahnahnah, dahdahdah,
dladadadadadadadah
nahnah*bloop*nah, dahdahdah
nahnahnah, dahdahdah, 

dladadadadadadadah
(hoh!)

when I’m luh’, well I nunna be, 
onna be who’s without you.
when I’m drmp, well I nunna dream,
unna drink a pint with you.

AAH KWENG! well I nonna be,
‘nna be new good with you.
an’ I cluddag! yes I nonna be, 
‘nna be who cob with you,
gonna avish coooomb wi’ you.

but ood wive hung manna *bloop* ood wive hem
yes the *bloop* dung man whaff an’ luff aonood

dahdahdah, dahdahdah,
nahnahnah, dahdahdah,
dladadadadadadadah (ayy)

dlahdahdah, dahdahdah,
dahnahnah, nahnahnah,
dladadadadadadadah

dahdahdah, dahdahdah,
dahdahdah, dahnahnah,
dladadadadadadadah (eh)

nahnahnah, dahdahdah,
nahnahnah, dahdahdah,
dladadadadadadadah

an’ would wive ben wanna hood wive den,
justa dackh mood hwackh dundwehnhaodoo kohh–

EVERYTHING WAS LAID OUT IN FRONT OF ME AND YET I WAS NOT READY FOR A SINGLE SECOND OF IT

Please listen to this if you want to hallucinate and die!