tiawatches* – Page 6 – Pass Through Fire

Alright I watched this god awful Death Note movie and I’m disappointed. I thought it was going to be funny stupid but it’s just annoying stupid. Don’t watch it, it’s not funny, you’ll just be angry. Here’s my live commentary.

I’m ready for the best experience of my life let’s go
nobody in their right mind would take in a cheerleader that doesn’t smile and smokes during practice (ps.: this is also one of the only two times Mia being a cheerleader is shown, this and when she says her life is meaningless because she’s a cheerleader)
this movie has only been going for two minutes and natt wolf’s acting reminds me of one of those extras in the background that like Acts a Lot, you know?
…
why…? why? just why?
do you know how exciting Light Yagami’s character is? that he’s rich and confident and intelligent? how dangerous that is? that he’s untouchable? something closer to that would be so exciting, this socially anxious awkward nerd is exhausting
also he’s the kid of a police chief, the fucking principal would be all over that shit (also the fuck is the doc from SGA doing here?)
eeexposition
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD WHY IS HE A VICTIM?+?!?!?!?!?
HE’S NOT A VICTIM HE’S A DICK HE’S A BULLY HE’S AN ARROGANT FUCK
cissexist death note
though the original death note is also pretty sexist so thats fine
nice cut you fucks
sure
yeah
a thing fell
riveting
good scream
like that goat in that taylor swift vine
is this supposed to be funny? i cant tell if this is comedic or they mean this because it looks and sounds so stupid
jesus ryuk is _terrifying_
“nah?”
“NAH?”
THIS ISN’T LIGHT YAGAMI
oh yeah sure sorry i forgot he’s light turner
some. fucking. bullshit.
EW GROSS xD
“How can this be possible?” he asks, struggling to act like he’s feeling any emotion at all
why do i hate his dad?
I hate this. I hate this so much. they keep giving Light reasons to want to take revenge on bad people. he has no fucking reason, he just has a god complex because he’s a dick and thinks he has the right to decide who lives or dies.
also why is his mum dead?
I’m so annoyed Light would have read the rules as soon as he possibly could, immediately understanding everything or at least having ideas how to test it
I’ll give them that, it’s fucking GOREY as shit
yes, “hehehheheh” would be my reaction precisely to the murderer of my wife dying
I hate his fucking dad so much
I hate that Sachiko’s dead also apparently Light has no sister in this one. ok. I mean it would only give dimension to his character but sure, make him into a loner, that’s groundbreaking
oh my goooooddddddd I’m actually bored
also why is only Light getting in trouble for writing papers for other students? shouldn’t the principal who doesn’t give a shit that his mum just died be all over questioning him about which students are paying him to solve their tests???????
ALSO LIGHT JUST LET MIA SEE THE DEATH NOTE EVERYTHING IS OVER MIA NEEDS TO DIE NOW
I HATE THIS SO MUCH
WHY IS HE TRUSTING HER?!?!?!?!?!
WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING
that’s not the last entry, the mum murderer is the last entry.
WHY IS HE TELLING MIA?!?!?!?!?!?!?
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
SHE’S A LIABILITIY
I want to die.
Light is fucking stupid.
that’s also not how physics work
why do they have a shitty house anyway?
wow I’m glad they held hands for two seconds
WHY IS LIGHT THE MOST UNCHARISMATIC PERSON EVER
why does everyone who dies just explode? why is that a thing?
alright so… hang on for a second… if what is written in the book has to be physically possible then why can these victims they just mentioned write in Japanese out of a sudden? he’s not supposed to be mind controlling them, right? I’m actually rusty on this one cause I watched the anime years ago but… still, he can’t grant them the knowledge of Japanese through controlling them in the book, right?
also didn’t the public name Kira and he just accepted it? whatever, let him choose his own name, though it would better tie him to his following who don’t even know him if they named him but nvm
HOW IS KIRA RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE ACTS?!?!?! HOW?!?!??! HOW DO THEY KNOW?!?!?!?! DO THEY ALL WRITE IT IN JAPANESE BEFORE THEY DIE?!?!?!?!? THATS FUCKING STUPID
if Natt Wolf wasn’t a useless actor…… but he is………
I don’t even want to be exicted by L
I should be cause L but they’re just going to butcher him
HE SPEAKS JAPANESE YESSS
and now they’re speaking English
fucksakes -.-
there was one nice thing for ten seconds and now they ruined it
Light getting so upset about investigations about Kira is a clue, he’s just so stupid
also I hate his dad, he looks stupid
oh that’s Watari ok
at least he’s Japanese
WATARI JUST HANDED THE COP AN ICE CREAM YESSS xD best thing in this damn movie so far
fucking stupidest thing it was from Light that the first person they can actually trace back to him that he killed was the murderer of his own mum
fucking stupid
they might as well just jail him now
what HAS James done so far? cause I don’t fucking know all we have is L saying it’s impressive what he’s done. BUT WHAT HAS HE DONE!?!??!?!
I love L so much still :’) that never changes
why is “James” frustrated with L? it’s totally not going to be suspenseful if they start to pull apart and be distrustful this way. but what do i know.
LIGHT ONLY SHOWS UP TO HIS DAD WHEN HE WANTS TO ASK HIM ABOUT THE INVESTIGATION HE’S SO OBVIOUSLY……?!?!?!?! HE’S SO STUPID
“a particularly bright kid” do you think anybody cringed when this line was written and said? HE HAS SHOWN NOTHING THAT WOULD PROVE HE’S SMART AT ALL HE’S DOING WHAT ANYBODY WOULD BE DOING WITH THE NOTE HE’S NOT SPECIAL IT’S NOT EVEN SUSPENSEFUL THAT HE’S THE KID OF THE COP THAT’S LEADING THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE WE DON’T SEE HIM BE SMART AND CAUTIOUS AND CALCULATING WITH EVERY SCENARIO HE’S A FUCKING PUDDLE OF BLAND MAYO
FICODSFJSPBGFIJ!K!!!
I’M SO ANGRY
Light Turner: oh it looks like L is having people follow me, the best solution is to stop killing people for the duraion of me being investigated. that will certainly divert suspicion from me. that all the murders stop when I’m being investigated. yes. I’m a particularly bright kid.
oh no, is this going to be the big conflict? that Mia is jealous of Light for the notebook? wow……..
the best part of the anime was that Light timed the deaths in such a way that it solidifed that he couldn’t be the killer, listen I don’t want to compare it too much to the anime but that would be awesome, it makes so many smart things possible, unfortunately then they would have to come up with another smart thing about how it’s possible to bust Light that way and that’d be too much for them
aw bby L 😦
sure this scene looks cool but it’s fucking stupid
obviously one of the peple they were investigating is Kira, how smart, they just literally reduced the number of suspects
OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD
this is so stupid, so did Ryuk kill the agents? because if he did it’s fucking stupid he’s supposed to be neutral he’s a bored god but he isn’t necessarily evil
but my first thought was that Mia killed them which is stupid again cause after the conflicts and Mia implying that it’s lucky that the agents died (HOW?!?!!? THIS SURELY CONFIRMS THAT ONE OF THE INVESTIGATED PEOPLE ARE KIRA) Light still suspects Ryuk -.-
yes Light would totally say “get the fuck out” to the only person who knows his secret
OH MY GOD YESS YESS BITCH YESS LIGHT TURNER IS KIRA
“Do you think I’m not scared?” YES LIGHT YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED
“I’m a cheerleader, nothing I do has ever mattered until I met you.” A wonderful message that somehow manages to be even more sexist towards Misa (Mia, sorry) than the anime
I can’t believe they’re going to ruin Watari
WATARI MY OWN GRANDFATHER
“Only one name can be removed from the Death Note by burning the page cause somehow we managed to come up with the worst way possible for you to want to get L’s name”
DO YOU KNOW what the biggest problem of this movie is?
that the writers aren’t as smart as the real L and Light Yagami. they are fucking stupid, and you can’t write smarter than you are which is why this movie is stupid.
WHAT THE FUCK
WHY IS LIGHT HAVING WATARI CALL HIS MOBILE PHONE?!?!?!?!?!?
I MEAN L ALREADY KNOWS LIGHT IS KIRA BUT THIS IS SOLID EVIDENCE THAT LIGHT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE INVESTIGATION
ALSO APPARENTLY LIGHT CAN NOW CONTROL PEOPLE BY SPOKEN WORDS TOO
FANTASTIC
and of course Watari gets to just leave without anyone noticing or even L suspecting anything
writing L pissed that Kira “got” Watari is the only way they can make this have any emotional impact tbh
this dude is the best part of the movie tbh but I’m pissed off that they are writing him angry
I’m glad at least somebody in the movie is acting but still
are they going to butcher Mello and Near too or are they sparing them at least?
why aren’t they tracking Watari’s phone? it’s 2017 even movie!L would, L and Watari are shown technology savvy, so…
Light is a fucking dumbass
also how do they think killing L will put an end to the investigation anyway?
though I kind of get it cause L’s the only one who’s making any efforts to actually find him
I’m sad we haven’t seen L hold the phone the way L does tbh
why is RYUK HERE?!?!?!? WHY IS HE EVIL SUDDENLY?!?!?!?!?!
I hate this movie so much.
oh I wonder what Light wants, I can’t even imagine
you’re right, FBI agents would never suspect that anyhing is shady about Light showing up in a top hat that literally no teenager would ever wear in 2017 and how it could be used to conceal one’s identity, because apparently the only people dumber than the writers are the only people who could bust Light in this scene
wonderful
true to the spirit of Death Note
“NORMAL PEOPLE SCARE ME” STICKER IN LIGHT’S LOCKER _HE FUCKING LEAVES OPEN_ GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
why…? are they shooting Watari? I don’t get it???? didn’t… what’s the torn out page? oh he couldn’t burn it… yeah…
okay, still stupid….
so Mia took the page. and Light didn’t care to check it of course because Light trusts someone other than himself. sorry, I forgot again.
I think I hate this scene of Light walking up to Mia more than anything…
and of course the FBI agents aren’t noticing this either.
okay…
“You killed him” Light says when he wrote down Watari’s name is probably the most Light thing he’s ever done this movie unfortunately he’s saying this as part of a hissy fit not because he actually believes he’s a good guy
why is Mia suddenly the antagonist? also she talks like she’s done a Million things to protect Light when she’s done like… A Thing.
yup, told you it was stupid whether Ryuk or Mia killed the agents. and I was right.
wait, is this a big reveal? am I supposed to be shocked now? it is sO OBVIOUS
I can’t believe the writers of this movie think we’re dumb. we watched the anime, we know how they’re supposed to think, we think like the real Light and L would think, this movie, these motivations, this non-existent game of chess falls apart while it’s being built, this is unbelievable.
also yes I’m sorry it’s not the anime, it’s based on it and it’s supposed to stand on its own but if you make a movie based on such a famous thing then your adaptation has to stand the prying and critique of the fans of the original work. you can’t pretend like it doesn’t exist and tell us to forget about it when you BASE YOUR WORK ON IT
OH WOW OKAY NOW MIA WANTS TO KILL LIGHT SURE
also, fuckign… okay now this rule makes sense though its the only thing that makes the movie possible.
L :((((((
wait… what is happening… why isn’t L burning the page that kills him? why is Light’s dad suddenly in the movie again? why is L being chased? Watari just got killed why does that give them reason to?
what is happening?
the top hat is on someone else again, which means the top hat changed wearers three times now without the FBI agents noticing.
I’m not even commenting on this chase sequence it’s that fucking pathetic. is Light running home to the calculus book? so why does he want to go to the ferris wheel? or…? where does he think the page is? Mia told him where it is, if they go to the ferris wheel neither Mia nor Light will be able to burn the page that kills him o_o
yes, L would absolutely chase Light with a gun, that’s a thing he would do.
imagine how fun this movie could be if anybody involved had any common sense at all?
do people who haven’t seen the anime enjoy this? does this make sense to anyone? I’m not even comparing the movie to the anime, or trying not to, I’m just saying what happens in the movie is stupid. I only ever bring up the anime when I say a majority of the people who watch this movie know how to think and won’t be at all excited by anything that’s happening in the movie.
different things COULD’VE happened in the movie if they made sense but I just debunked like half of them in this liveblog and the other half I couldn’t type fast enough for.
L and Light are supposed to be two masterminds, them facing off is supposed to be GENIUS, but they’re just DUMB
this guy hitting L in the head is actually cool cause it shows that moral ambiguity in Kira’s actions, that him killing criminals isn’t actually a 100% bad thing because bad people should die but… it was a thing for like five minutes in the beginning of the film and now it’s a thing when it’s for plot reasons… also Light running through the town swinging a gun wouldn’t at all draw attention, sure.
I still don’t get it if Natt Wolf screaming should be comedic or not cause in both cases it’s not working.
also apparently it’s Nat Wolff but I don’t give a shit, he’s a terrible actor. he worked in TFiOS for the small role he had but he was the worst part of Paper Towns that the comic relief cast carried which is why it was a good movie tbh
yes, shooting the control pad will keep the wheel moving but only until the set location, that’s how electronics work.
like… Light and Mia are actually dumb… I want to say they are insane but that would be an insult to actually clinically disturbed people. the fact that Light thinks they could run away (why would he even want to run away with Mia she would kill him to get the book?!?!?! THAT’S WHY THEY’RE THERE BECAUSE MIA TOLD HIM TO GET HER THE BOOK OTHERWISE HE WOULD DIE BUT THEN WHY WOULD HE EVEN DO THAT HE KNOWS MIA DOESN’T HAVE THE PAGE THAT KILLS HIM, ITS IN A BOOK HE KNOWS ITS IN) and that Mia could get out of this ferris wheel with the book and keep doing what Light has been doing (though has he done anything lately with it? I don’t think so) is actually insane. it’s not normal people thinking, it’s stupid.
“Don’t take the book cause if you do you’ll never see me again” is this even… suspenseful? Mia was plotting against Light when she told him she loved him, she obviously doesn’t love him
also why are they chasing them now? is the chase for L off for what reason again? did the guy that whopped him in the back of the head just… leave him there? cool.
“I love you so much.” – “You do?”
oh my god…….
so… why couldn’t Mia do this again? if she could write Light’s death in it then she could’ve just kept it, right? what bullshit rule am I missing this time? or did she write on a separate page only? but she had the book to herself o_o
oh no Light wrote Mia’s death in the note, how shocking
and now they both die, wonderful…. oh god I hope they both die…….
and this is happening with the police not even suspecting anything, right? or are they???? what are they thinking is happening? why are they thinking they’re there?
I don’t even know……
why are they still screaming?
I’ll say this too, both of them writing each other’s name in the book with the intention of taking it back in case they could get what they wanted is actually good characterisation if it was based on anything we’ve seen in the past hour and a half and if the acting wasn’t so god awful and if anything ever mattered at all in this movie. it’s a good showcase of how rotten humanity can be and what the note actually does to people.
but suddenly it doesn’t matter now of course cause they’re hugging again and nobody’s learnt anything…
what does James even think is happening? he has no fucking idea, does he?
fucksakes…
just fall
just die
goodbye
……..
………….
this is a joke, right?
i just…
i want to…..
what does this MEAN?!?!?!?!
pls let them explode into a bunch of bloody bits
…………
are you kidding me?
die
DIE
DIE LIGHT DIE
Mia’s dead, yay, that’s one down
now Light
also I don’t get it, Light only got scared that Ryuk was gonna kill him once Mia was holding the book…? but he would’ve died if he’s holding the book too… what…? cause he wrote Mia dying but why was he sure that would kill- oh cause he was in the same pod on the ferris wheel. alright.
BUT STILL he wrote Mia dying on the ferris wheel and then willingly went up with her. this is actually glaringly stupid, AND he spent a lot of time writing stuff in that computer room so… lets say he has an escape plan but if he has an escape plan then why is he scared that Mia’s dying on the ferris wheel?
oh here comes L who wasn’t useful at all and is somehow still the best part of the movie.
SURE
THE PAGE FALLS INTO THE FIRE EXACTLY
if Light survives I’m going to scream at Nat Wolff until the day he dies
some Jumanji bullshit, sure
Light is in a coma, fucking finally
why is this asshole…
what.. okay… why were they chasing Light? why isn’t he under protective custody? why is this guy bringing the book back to him?
aw seeing L upset hurts me 😦
that’s not where the guy put the book, he put it on his chest, it’s on his stomach now.
oh Light is waking up, magically just after someone brought the book back to him for some reason.
wow American Light is a brat
JAMES KNOWS
but how…
oh okay
yeah
hahahha
told you it was fucking stupid
okay
okay you know what?
I’m not heartless, I’ll actually give them that, Light planning after his fall from the wheel is actually smart.
however… how the fuck can Light control a piece of paper, yoU PIECES OF SHIT
ALSO he was in a medicine-induced coma for TWO DAYS don’t tell me that paedophile doctor was the only person who ever was in Light’s room, a nurse or the doctor in the next shift (surprise, shifts don’t last two days) would notice Light is being administered a drug that is inducing his coma, right? x) or is it common knowledge that the coma is drug-induced? why would that be acceptable? how would they explain why does Light need to be in a coma?
L, don’t
don’t
you’re better than this
come on….
I wish Nat Wolff moved his mouth sometimes
is he specifying that there’s a book he wrote all of this in or is he just… saying these words… exactly…. or…????
the most expensive aspect of this movie was probably the music license tbh
and silencing anyone who brought up the stupidity of the script
oh great, a cliffhanger that means nothing.
does L write Light’s name in the book? doesn’t matter
does Light’s dad jail him for the murders? doesn’t matter
why? cause nobody gives a shit. nothing happened enough that could make anything have any weight. nobody was smart or good or bad enough to deserve anything they would possibly get after this, but I’m sure as hell glad the double-crossing girl got killed
Light deserves jail or death but nothing will happen if he stays alive. he won’t keep killing or maybe he will if L is made stupid enough to not bust him after all of this and Light’s dad somehow covers for him because he’s his son
he’ll keep killing, L will either be removed from the country or jailed or finally killed by Light, and then what, nothing
if Light is jailed or killed then the murders will stop, and you don’t know what it means because Light wasn’t smart or good or bad, he just was, he just happened to be around. he actually did the dumbest thing anybody could’ve ever done which is share his secret with another person after talking to them for two minutes. because he’s dumb. I don’t care because he’s dumb. it’s boring because he’s dumb. the chase, the game they were playing, meaningless because all parties are stupid. he was given a stupid motive, he made stupid decisions, his character was annoying and didn’t show ONE TRAIT I could describe him by other than stupid. the only time he was shown to have god complex is when he spelled out that he feels like a god, and then that part of the plot somehow became unimportant.

this movie sucks.