you know what’s wild is that all these crazy standards we hold ourselves to are things that we don’t even value in another person? like i’ve never been like “wow I love that this friend of mine is too proud to ask for help and never complains about their feelings” or “my favorite quality about this friend is that they get straight A’s and never get overwhelmed and has never told me about a problem” or “i love that this friend has never been wrong about anything or slipped up and said something embarrassing once in their life” and yet here we are, pushing ourselves past our limits for and beating ourselves up over slipups of things that our friends probably wouldn’t even rank in the top 50 reasons they like us

How nice would it be to be able to have someone i can go up to physically and tell them “hey bro im goin thru some shit can i hug u n stuff”

its so haaarddddd to not…. like completely believe that everybody hates me and nobody wants to be with me. and the worst thing of all is that i cant even manage that like when im fighting these bad feelings i never fight to not feel them because its impossible and its never going to work. its just to pretend like i dont believe it. which i completely do. so like… act like you dont want to curl up in a ball and cry because everybody hates you. its the weirdest fukkken feeling……. like… just be normal just for a day, please. just act like you’re not a complete freak.

obsceneleftovers:

🙂

sometimes i have to think like

is everyone as lonely as i am? what if they are. but they cant be right like you guys meet peopel all the time u have friends and stuff irl right? all my coworkers they hang out with their friends all the time so what went wrong with me? whhy am i this way yo? i just feel like nobody shjould have to deal with being around me you know?,its way too sad and stuff. like id be doing everyone a favour if i just wasnt around

reblog if you’re barely tolerable

okay google what to do when you feel like youre so broken beyond repair that youll never find friends

i mean its clear that one of the reasons im so unhappy is because i dont belong here but maybe i dont belong anywhere, you know? i cant imagine theres happiness out there for me. or just anywhere i can feel at peace. i dont think im made to be among people i dont think im made to fit anywhere in this world

the problem with “depression isn’t being sad all the time and not being able to think about anything other than how numb and horrible you feel all the time” is that what if it is? what if thats all i do lol how am i supposed to be out in public being neurotypical-passing like this

like i look at people who are open about their depression, look at them be out in public and have fun and stuff and i just cant believe how its possible and im so jealous lol i just want to cry when i have to leave the house even when its for something i actually want to do, how

like i know its not easy and i know just because they look “normal” they havent stopped struggling but they can still do things. i also want to do things. alexa download tutorial for doing things

poof o/ writeblr gone o/ magic trick o/ I’m a horrible person o/