Also hey I got a high-five for being bisexual lol. No for real we met this Russian girl in Vienna and she asked me about my pin and I was like ooooh shitttttt and then just said it was the bi pride flag and she high-fived me and said she was asexual.
I’m not fucking with you I wanted to cry. Is this what real happiness feels like? *-*
In 2015 when I went to see Editors in Barba Negra in Budapest I found an abandoned paper on the ground while waiting in front row that seemed to be like, a schedule for the Editors crew about set-up, soundcheck, whatever, and it also had the club’s wifi password on it too so naturally I signed in and used it cause why not.
So I was there yesterday seeing Kensington and my phone immediately connected to the wifi x) The friend I was with was like “oooh what’s the password” and I still got no idea but my phone remembers it x)
Have you ever listened to a wall? No, I don’t mean eavesdropping on who’s behind the wall, I mean actually, really listening to a wall. Most people are too busy to ever do something like that. But if you put your ear to a wall, close your eyes and delete all the other noise, you can really hear what a wall is saying. They all talk to each other, the walls. They have full-blown conversations, all day long, no matter when you tune in.
For instance, I was just listening to my bedroom wall a few moments ago. Here’s a snippet of what I heard it say.
“The cherry blossoms are in bloom … Which one? … That’s not true … This was before the spaceship launched, before the papers got signed … No, I don’t mean to … Were you the one squeaking? I think that’s splendid … I rejected her offer, I don’t think it was very conducive to the project …”
Every wall talks to every wall it is connected to. Each one has its own personality. For instance, this is what the east-facing wall in my bathroom sounds like.
“I don’t care if it speaks a different language, I demand an audience with it. The notion that we should be divided by languages in this way is nothing but a farce, constructed and propagated by a very pernicious enemy seeking to undermine our very foundations…”
It goes on and on, really. Did the personality come before the conversation? Or was it the other way around?
Most walls have short attention spans. They flit between various conversations, forming networks and families, relationships and discourse. The catch, for the listener, is that you can only listen to one side of the conversation at once, unless you can attach your ear to another wall like some kind of detachable suction cup.
I can never listen to a conversation from both sides, but I do my best to divide my time between the various walls and learn about their personalities and the relationships they form with each other.
I even chip in a lot of the time, but the walls seem to be unable to hear my speech. No matter how loudly or how quietly I speak, the walls completely ignore me and go on conversing with each other. It doesn’t stop me, though. I mean, it’s better than talking to actual human beings.
Many walls are upstarts, but a few have existed for thousands of years. I’ve had the misfortune to live far away from any of those ancient walls, but that’s my ambition: to learn from the wisdom of Palmyra and Petra, to hear the rumblings of the Great Wall in China, to visit the oldest castles in Europe and hear what the grey, moss-cloaked walls have to say.
It always breaks my heart when I see a wall destroyed. Wrecking balls and sledgehammers are the worst. Once, I heard a wall scream as it was torn down. Then the demolition crew took me away and didn’t let me close ever again. That’s probably for the best.
do you ever get up at 3am to watch critical role and end up finding your dog missing and then walk down the street to find your dog then hear your dog barking way back up the street so you run back to find your dog in your neighbour’s yard and then have to lift the dog over the spiky fence and then get your face kicked in by the dog so you fall but your favourite cardigan is caught in the spike so you rip it when you fall a whole metre down to the ground which is haha no big deal except youve got a spine injury right so you manage to fall on your side but your left ankle twists and then pops back into place and you dropped your fucking stupid dog who is fine because his fat ass caught the fall and he takes off down the street and you have to get back home to see if you broke your ankle cause your dog wont fucking come when you call so you wake up your mum whos slow to get up so you stand up on your aching ankle and get on your bike cause you love this dog way more than he fucking loves you and you bike down the street and you find his stupid ass outside the local bakery so you dump the bike and grab the dog and drag him back except youre crying because your ankle hurts and your back hurts and your fAVOURITE CARDIGAN IS RUINED and then you leash your dog and you cry because youre so relieved your ungrateful ass dog is found and then you limp back to where you dumped your bike and sit under a fence for ten minutes because your ankle hurts so much and then somehow you bike back home and see your ankle is swollen af because your stupid dog broke not just your heart but your ankle too and ripped your FAVOURITE CARDIGAN
…
…
does that ever happen to any of you guys?
I’ll try not to try to write about every single detail but here’s the weekend as shortly as I can manage it which is probably still gonna be pretttty long x)
Ok so I travelled to Budapest on Thursday afternoon, picked up my sister there and we went to Vienna together where Anna picked us up from the train station. We went back to our hostel together which was in a pretty faraway place and it’s a very… uh… minimalist place x) No but seriously it was 11 euros a night so it was crazy cheap and even though it also looked cheap it wasn’t That terrible.
Our assigned beds were already taken so we went on to find new ones but the room we picked first had this weird guy in it who got almost naked as soon as we arrived and was generally very creepy so we changed rooms again and we ended up with this one guy from the Caribbean who was pretty cool and so we had our place.
On Friday at around eleven we met with the one and only Ines ^^ and she treated us to coffee and cakes at Café Diglas which was _heavenly_ ^^ We also talked about so much stuff from TV shows to politics, it was the best I think just the four of us could single-handedly solve the world’s problems.
AND SHE GAVE US CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?!?!?!? IT’S A BATH BOMB AND A BUBBLE BATH LIKE OMG?!?!?! FROM LUSH AS WELL!!
We had to say goodbye to her cause she had some stuff to take care of so she couldn’t come with us :(( But she did lead us to Lush which I think was a form of revenge cause I spent like all my money there x) That place smells AMAZING.
Thennnn we went back to the accommodation and went to the venue at arouuuunnnd 5PM. Luckily there were only 40 people there (I know this cause some girls were giving out numbers so the order of getting inside was fair but I think that quickly went tits up anyways, nice try, girl with the number 2 on her hand).
Giules and Jonny came a bit later cause their train got cancelled and Sara arrived even later than that cause she even got lost in the meantime x) We were already being let inside when she found us, like, literally three metres from the door, it was kinda cool from the outside but it was probably less cool for her x)
Inside we could still be front row from the side which was fine by me cause I could lean on the very very edge of the stage but then a girl in a wheelchair and her friends asked us to give them space so we did. Which was fine but I had nowhere to lean and well… uh I’m feeling it, let’s say it that way.
The first opening act were The Airways, they were kinda cool but not enough to make me forget that we were about to see NOTHING BUT THIIIIEEEEVVVES and the second band was The Xcerts who were kinda cheesy for my likin but alright. AND THEN. THEN THE SPECIAL BOYS ARRIVED.
Oh man… contrary to how I usually do it I won’t write about every single detail in every single song (I’ll write an umm “professional” review for my blog anyways) but oh my god they were amazing. I umm, actually can’t talk so much about like… the band as a whole… cause umm… I may have been like completely transfixed by Conor so… I think the others did well, I mean the guitars sounded nice, drums were on point, Joe’s hair is still great, Dom is still a handsome motherfucker from what I could see but I mean… fucking… Conor… that guy is holy shittt…
He was on top of his game the whole way through. Like… I never like to criticise singers for skipping difficult notes or taking songs a bit lower cause these guys are doing gig after gig with only a few resting days and their voices have to survive the whole tour which is usually months-long so it’s understandable but Conor was just powering through the whole thing like the frikken champion he is.
I’m Not Made By Design was an AWESOME start and I loved all the new songs, obviously, but the highlight for me was of course Soda and I just have to say… like, it’s a special kind of feeling to scream “I don’t wanna be myself, it’s making me so unwell” with a room full of people and the band I adore. Also in my review for Broken Machine I said that on the album I was kind of expecting Conor to change from falsetto to ~full voice and sing the chorus like that at the end but I was okay with him not doing it, and it’s still true but he did it at the show and holy shit it’s just as beautiful as I thought it would be.
I was kinda bummed out that they changed Hanging to Hostage, like I love Hostage but Hanging is my new bae so :[[ oh well. Drawing Pins was so cool to hear as well as Trip Switch ♥♥ Excuse Me surprised me cause I didn’t remember they were playing it but ofc it’s a single so…
I think we did well as an audience, at one point Conor couldn’t say what he wanted to say cause we kept chanting and cheering, and he got all giddy and emotional, it was really cute ^^ There were some bants after Hell, Yeah where he kinda messed up and then Dom told him something and then Conor was like “what a cunt, Dom just asked me “was that an artistic key change?” cause I fucked it up” x)
He played Free Fallin’ as well which was cute af cause beforehand he was like “I’m gonna play one of my favourite songs… it’s not one of ours cause that’d be really self-conceited” or sg like that. He’s so tinnnnnyyy I still don’t know how he can make those noises, geez.
Overall the crowd was amazing, I thought we were loud and enthusiastic, the middle of the masses were more than happy to oblige when Conor asked them to open up the pit (the girl next to me looked at me so alarmed I was like “no, no, I’m not gonna do it, you’re fine, I don’t like moshpits either” and she just laughed like “oh ok I don’t want to do it either” x))
My voice was fucking gone by the third song, jesus, I had to like, clear my throat after every song and then consciously adjust my vocal cords so my cheering doesn’t come out as Morgan Freeman yelping. And at one point I just stopped singing melodies and it was like the same note on every syllable, it was fun, my throat fucking hurts you guys x)
And then Particles happened (Conor sang the whole bRIDGE I’M DEAD) and Amsterdam too and then the show was donezo.
We said goodbye to Giules and the others and went back to the place and well, we went to bed… :[ The next day my sister left in the morning for a work thing so it was just Anna and I ^^ We went to Haydn, which is an English cinema, and watched Thor which was hilarious and really cool. The whole cinema was cool, there were all these posters around and like, all this old movie stuff like camcorders and projectors, it was very atmospheric.
And thennnnn after another break we went to meet up with Giules & Co. again and by this time I was fucking _exhausted_ and in so much pain but I still wanted to spend some more time with them so we went out for coffees and pastry which was very nice, we had a little chat, and then we went back to the hostel. I wish I had a normal body instead of a garbage one so I didn’t have to think about how much more I can take and what my limits are even when I’m planning to have a good time but oh well.
Then today morning Anna and I left our tiny bed buggy hostel and I got on a train then I came home. And now I’m sad. Agnes by Glass Animals came on shuffle on the train and I was ugly crying under my scarf, it was pretty disgusting. And tomorrow of course it’s back to work time. Oh boy. Two more weeks until winter break that’s all I have to survive.
I wish I could say, and I can because it’s true, that this weekend and luckily many of the memories similar to these that I have could help me like, through these tough times but as we were hanging out with Ines, and Giules and the others, and I spent like the whole weekend with Anna, it’s just making me that much sadder that the people I’m with at work are so different than me, and how much I just don’t fit in here.
Anyway I won’t lament on this any longer but it stings a little still.
So this weekend was GREAT, I only wish Ines could’ve been with us the whole time ♥♥ Well, next time she will because next time we’re seeing Editors together in April :3
Now let me try to fix the audio on my new laptop and listen to Soda and cry a lot. Maybe it’s not working because it wants to keep me from crying to sad songs x)
There was a bird in our bathroom just now! I went in to pee and I saw something circle above my head so I put a blanket on my head cause I thought it was a bat first and I yelled for my mum who opened the door (for me mostly) but then the bird got out so I got out too, I closed the door behind me (and pulled up my pants o_o) and then we closed all the doors to the other rooms and I opened the entry door and leashed my dog so it wouldn’t come in or start chasing the bird and then we waited until the bird got out a few moments later x) I wonder how it got in, I mean it could only be through either the door which is only open when we’re standing right there, or the kitchen window but then it would’ve needed to go through the kitchen, the entrance room, and then get inside the bathroom without anyone noticing it and that could only be way after I got home cause I was in the bathroom many times today and my mum spent the first half of the day in the kitchen.
Pass Through Fire 