the way this sentence is phrased makes it sound like the fact that he is the donkey kong high score record holder is what makes him eligible to be the president of taiwan
No ok but I actually met him. Several of my colleagues and students were hired to do some assessments for several manmade and natural ponds on his property. He wanted to maintain them with several different fish populations so that kids nearby could fish and have a good time.
While we were working he rode up in his four wheeler with a terrified look on his face. I never thought I would see a former football player on the verge of tears, but boy howdy he nearly was. Several of us stop what we were doing and go over to see what was up.
“I was running the tractor through the field and almost hit a fawn.” He says.
Now, for reference, it’s pretty common to have farmers run over and kill fawns. The defense mechanism of fawns when they are young is to lay down low and not move…which obviously isn’t great for when there’s a tractor. It happens all the time, but it can be pretty bloody. It’s not a pretty sight.
So, thinking that maybe such a gory scene unnerved him and that we may have to dispose of the body, I say “Mr. Brown, is the fawn still alive?”
He says “Yes, I took it to the barn…but I’m afraid the mom won’t take it back because it has human scent on it.”
The myth about “human scent” is a common one, but it’s just that…a myth. But still, this guy was absolutely terrified that this little deer was going to live the first few weeks of its life without a parent. He was distraught.
Luckily my professor/boss was like “Don’t worry Mr. Brown, if you return the fawn relatively close to the spot that you found it, the mother will come back. The human scent thing is just a myth. The fawn will be alright, just be sure to keep the barn quiet so that the fawn doesn’t panic.”
Mr. Brown’s face lit up and he let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God” he said “I was so worried.”
And that’s the story of how I met the sweetest man ever: Mr. Jason Brown.
The USPS is the fastest, cheapest, and most accurate mail service on the planet last I heard, and is the biggest employer of veterans in the entire country.
On top of that, mail carriers: -have wages that top out at over $30 an hour (and their wages go up in predictable steps based on how long they’ve been with the USPS) -have excellent benefits, including a shit-ton of vacation time, plus a pension, and they can retire after thirty years
But they also have one of the oldest, biggest, strongest unions in the country. That must piss off Republicans so much.
Also, side note: they take zero taxpayer dollars. They’re entirely funded by postage.
(”But I heard they were doing terribly!” They’re not. Congress saddled them with pre-funding their retirement 75 years out to intentionally put them in the red and make them look bad. I’m not joking or exaggerating. There’s tons of info, but here’s the USPS’s own info: https://about.usps.com/who-we-are/financials/annual-reports/fy2010/ar2010_4_002.htm )
if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:
– dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
– sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie
this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash
– rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin
It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.
Pass Through Fire 