Not to be like “we live in a society” but I think a lot of people’s mental health would be significantly less fucked if they didn’t have to function in a system that forces them to think about their value as a human being as based on how productive they are/how much money people can make off them
i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second
anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk
and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something
paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.
i say, paul.
is that a nerf gun.
yeah, says paul.
i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.
he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?
and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–
a foam dart hits me in the leg.
i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.
i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.
no dart this time. okay. sweet.
so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it
anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
Anhedonia – not finding pleasure in things you normally take pleasure in – is a symptom of depression.
When depressed, you will also be reluctant to start things, and won’t find things appealing.
This sets up a nasty vicious cycle where ‘life feels bleak’ -> ‘nothing sounds fun’ -> do nothing -> don’t have fun -> ‘Hey I’m not having fun, life really is pretty bleak right now’ -> More depressed.
The way to break that cycle is to do things that you enjoy. Doing things solely for the sake of having fun is an important part of handling depression. Not only does it keep you from getting more depressed, but it can make you go ‘Hey I’m having a really nice day’ and give you bouncy energy to do productive things with.
I get so focused on all the things that need doing that I forget that when depressed, doing things solely because they’re fun is the practical thing to do if I want to get thing done.
There is a difference between procrastination and having trouble activating. If there’s a thing you need to do and you know you aren’t going to be able to do it now, do something fun, and afterwards you will have better odds of actually doing the thing.
If you find yourself in the situation in the picture, pick something that you are intellectually aware you would find fun if you were feeling better and start doing it.’ This means that you are focusing on something other than *sigh* and playing a game can make you feel productive, put ‘life is good!’ and ‘I can succeed at things!’ chemicals into a brain that is sorely in need of them.
A couple weeks ago when I couldn’t even find any interest in reading fanfic, I eventually managed to start playing a random RPG and felt much better a few hours later.
i certainly wasn’t expecting anything close to actual, halfway decent advice that might help some folks out when i threw this little Funne Picture out into the wild, but that’s nice. thank you. i’m not sure if i’ll ever break this little cycle for more than a few hours, but .. yeah man. it’s just a little nice to see folks trying to help other folks out on posts of mine instead of the usual terrible nonsense
Exactly what I needed right now.
Easy to parse version:
Anhedonia is a symptom of depression, it’s not finding enjoyment in things that once made you happy.
If you find yourself in this situation, pick something that you KNOW you would find fun or enjoyable.
When you’re depressed, the best thing to do is do things BECAUSE they’re fun, it’ll help motivate you more.
Not Yelling At Children is Better Than Yelling At Children, More At 11
I wanted to add that I feel as though the point is not only that refraining from yelling is helpful but that modeling calm problem solving is especially important for ADHD children. It’s not just don’t get loud and nasty but tell your ADHD kid how you are avoiding getting loud and nasty so they can learn that because it’s hard for them.
So while an NT child may start to figure for themselves how to remain calm in a high stress situation at a certain age, a parent narrating how exactly they are calmly handling a problem would have continued added benefit for ADHD children. Like “I am not going to worry until I assess the situation” and “now that I know what is wrong I can come up with a plan to move forward” because we really won’t learn that without hearing it said and other people tend to and that’s just one of the differences.
i just feel like its so much more difficult since i didnt go to a therapist when i should’ve. i spent the last ten years therapising myself, discussing my issues with myself, ive got to conclusions i wouldve if id gone to a therapist, ive done a lot of things wrong, im handling a lot of things in the wrong way, i just feel like, its like…
how do i explain this, its like if you broke your ankle and tried to fix it by yourself and then after like five years of walking on a fucked up ankle you finally went to see a doctor. theres a lot of shit there, you feel? like your ankle isnt broken the way it was before but youve definitely done a lot of shit to it that you werent supposed to just so you could still walk to some distances and you adapted to having to walk on a broken ankle and its working, kinda, but its still not ideal, obviously, but the doctor will have to treat it differently than a straight up freshly broken bone. and so my fear is that when i go to the doctor they like give me advice and treatment and talk like i just broke my ankle when i broke my ankle like years ago so i dont need to be explained what a broken ankle is like, i need someone to fix the mess that happened afterwards.
hi tonight I’m thinking of all the people who are worse off than they were this time last year. of the people who have gone downhill mentally instead of up and of the people whose lives have gotten worse instead of better.
You may be in a really awful place right now but I am telling you that there is relief ahead. You will be able to breathe again. I know you probably can’t believe that right now, so trust me instead of your own doubts. I love you.
Pass Through Fire 