enlighs
Tag: mediocre young adult writer problems
“It’s noble to want to stand up for someone less…
confident than you- you four, quiet!” Moore snapped at the kids next to Signe. “I’m
glad you didn’t resort to physical violence but… I hope you’ll soon learn that
it is possible to get to a point where you need neither violence nor quippy backtalk.”“Only my beautiful visage…” Signe whispered.
“Alright, you need to sober up.”
“She’s not much different like that either,” Tahani
noted.“Can I trust that you’ll stay with her while the morphine
wears off?”“Of course!” Signe threw her arm around Juri and tried to
reach for Tahani’s neck who kept pulling away. “They’ll stay with me forever!”
“Hey, I think I’ve displayed
some excellent leadership qualities today.”“You cried before you passed out.”
“I wasn’t crying, it was tactical fear.“
I didn’t plan for Moore to be an absolute dork but oh well.
“Oh, and I’m also
required by regulations to thank every volunteer for participating in
this experiment. Field Marshal Krieger wants you to know your country
is grateful for your sacrifice. Which does sound like we’re about to kill you all.
Which we’re not. Because of regulations.”
Yall there was an OC ask meme on my dashboard that I’m gonna do for my new gang. I initially wanted to post their application interviews but meh. I might still do it cause it’s very funny (to me) and it really introduces the kind of characters you think they’ll be.
The premise of the story is that the US military asks for volunteers to take part in an experimental and “borderline unethical” training in return for a bunch of fucking money paid monthly to their families. Only those are accepted who are physically expected to have a 50+% chance of surviving it, so from the hundreds of thousands, about a few hundred. The Group is one of the youngest applicants (since there’s no age limit). The experiment takes eight years so only the most desperate would really apply, and if the “cadets” choose to leave prematurely their families must repay all the money granted to them up until then. At the end of the eight years they are free to leave without any consequences.
Technically this training isn’t part of the story because the story really starts when of course they’re not fucking allowed to leave and they’re thrown into a submarine hurling towards an interdimensional gate-like stuff in the ocean and then consequentially landing on the other side.
It sounds sci-fi but it is also. Magic.
1: List five basic facts about your OC.
I’ll just describe them in five words.
Jisoo: young, competitive, prone to self-destruct
Tanner: way stronger than he thinks
Kosma: hard shell contains needy baby
Mark: grew up way too young
Juri: fakes bravery, fakes happiness, sad
Tahani: just don’t talk to her
Signe: doesn’t know anything, very dumb (also the POV character) (also her name is Sidney but she writes it as Signe and pronounces it as Signey for reasons)
2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.
I’ll just post the dialogue lines I did come up with while outlining the premise.
Signe: “Are they going to drown us? Who was best at breath training, Kosma? Yeah you were, you kinky bitch.”
Signe: “Would you really give up what your life could be, for them?”
Mark: “Eight years of what we were put through and you still don’t get it, you guys are my life.”Mark: “You know what a lever arm is? Surely you use those sometimes on your… farm or whatever. To lift things ‘n’ shit.”
Tanner: “I’ve heard of arms before.”Signe (to a bully): “I’d say find someone your age to pick on but… I can’t see any other babies around here.”
Signe: (the oldest (18) to Jisoo, Kosma, and Tanner (who are all around 12/13 at this point) “So you three specifically. What’s your deal, why aren’t you guys in kindergarten?”
Kosma: “Don’t look at me, I’m just here to prove my parents wrong.”
Tahani: “If you really hate them so much just say fuck you and leave.”
Juri: “Is that what happened to you?”
Tahani: “Yeah, which is why I know he should’ve done it a long time ago.”Juri: “For the record I feel like we came together organically and you only brought in Colin cause you hate uneven numbers.”
Signe: “This is what Moore meant by saying there’s a way to not have to use violence or backtalk if we’re smart enough. People don’t mess with us because we’re a unit now.”
Tahani: (looking at Juri who’s repeatedly slapping Kosma’s throat while he’s trying to eat, and Tanner and Colin who are throwing each other peas to catch in their mouths) “Yeah cause you lot are terrifying.”
3: Post a snippet from your writing that describes your OC.
See above.
4: Post a snippet from your writing in which another OC describes your OC.
I have a snippet where an OC describes other OC’s describing Signe, is that good? It’s their final evaluation where the cadets’ performance is assessed and they’re recommended to either join the squad or leave it. There’s no description in this dialogue cause I just wrote the speaking parts. I have very little outline done and this isn’t even the main story so… Signe’s in a room much like a police itnerrogation room with the Serious but Benevolent Squad Leader Moore.
“Miss Little…”
"Oh no, that voice.”
“How do I say this…”
"Gently and very quickly, somehow in the same time.”
You’ve ranked lowest in… so many tests… stamina, trauma, blood loss, repeated obedience, dehydration, psychological, pain, sensory deprivation, just… the lowest possible scores all across the board. In addition to this you’ve ranked historically low in sleep, breathing, hunger, intellectual training, and solitary confinement. You’re just…
"So bad in every way possible?”
“I don’t know how you haven’t given up like four months into this training. It baffles my whole team how you did all eight years and survived.”
"I guess being a stubborn, insufferable bitch is actually a positive feature in this case.”
“Is it though?”
"I have no idea, I’m grabbing at straws here, probably not.”
“I have never wanted to recommend not staying with the unit this much before.”
"You know you can just… not… talk about me like I’m the literal worst, you could’ve just said “Signe you’re bad at everything, I recommend you don’t stay”, that would’ve been way better.”
“Let me finish one goddamn sentence, god, Juri doesn’t talk this much.”
"Doesn’t she though?”
“Not during her goddamn evaluation, she doesn’t.”
"Right.”
“You’re the oldest in your group which might not mean a lot to you but it means a whole lot to your teammates. In our regular psychological evaluations we asked you all to name the person you respect the most. Most of your teammates named either Mark or you, and those who named Mark added that you are close behind or that sometimes when you step up to the challenge they really do respect you the most. Additionally, Tanner tried to say both your names at once so we couldn’t figure out who he really meant.”
"Oh my god, did it sound like a cute kitten sneezing?”
“Yes, it did, it was adorable, he refused to answer when we asked him to clarify.”
"Is there footage of it?”
“Signe, if you remember the questions we asked…”
"I really don’t.”
“…your teammates also named you when we asked them who they trust the most, who’s always there to take care of them, who gives their best effort in improving, and who they are most likely to share a secret with.”
"O…kay? Not Mark? He’s our superdude.”
“He came up mostly when it came to leadership, level-headedness, and morality. His qualities are very technical and calculating which is not a bad thing at all but could cause problems long-term if he doesn’t let himself be emotional from time to time. You on the other hand are the opposite of the spectrum. You’re everything bit the leader he is but on a more human level.”
"And that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes, because you failed all your frikkin’ tests, Signe!”
“So I take it I’m not allowed to stay?”
“Listen, at the end of these evaluations, all of which have been way shorter than yours by the way, I either recommend or don’t recommend that a cadet stays with the unit. As your contract states I’m legally required to let anybody stay if they choose to. With you I really have nothing to say. You leave, good for you. You stay, good for your teammates. That’s your decision to make. All I know is… you shouldn’t have come here.”
5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.
Jisoo: kinda tall, muscular, big nose, big teeth, kinda comical-looking, smiley.
Tanner: shorter, tan, kinda lean but very agile, big eyes.
Kosma: extreme shortness, round face, olive skin with blond hair, blue eyes.
Mark: dark skin, light hair that has no idea what way to be, tal, skinny and weak-looking but has a confident stride
Juri: shorter, small eyes, big, big smile, long limbs, always moving, always
Tahani: chubby tummy, round face, short hair covering her eyes, very unapproachable
Signe: tall, slouches a lot, dark eyes, chubby cheeks, cheesy smile
6: Describe your OC’s love life.
They don’t got one, they’re kids when they meet and then they just got more important shit to do.
7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.
They wear a dull uniform during the experiment but once they’re sent to [redacted] they actually make themselves a better uniform that’s both practical and stylish so they like to mix function and aesthetic.
8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.
Jisoo: won’t stop competing with everyone
Tanner: is usually quite but when he snaps he snaps
Kosma: overworking himself
Mark: refuses to emotion
Juri: what are boundaries?
Tahani: refuses to people
Signe: can’t mind her own business & has to step in to save everyone except she’s the weakest & dumbest creature on Earth so she always gets her ass kicked
9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?
I’ll just paste the part of the application interview where they’re asked about their biggest fears.
What’s your biggest fear?
Cadet #72 (Dale, Tanner)
“Fire.”Cadet #128 (Ishigami, Juri)
“My loved ones being in pain.”Cadet #37 (Panagopoulous, Kosma)
“Uh… dunno? I don’t like sudden loud noises, I guess.”Cadet #65 (Little, Sidney)
“Straight up death.”Cadet #177 (Wang, Mark)
“Being alone.”Cadet #108 (Mihrabar, Tahani)
“No way, you’ll just use it against me.”Cadet #161 (Jisoo, Hwang)
“Toads.”
10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?
A gel pen, a bottle of wine, brass knuckles, a toy knife (i can explain), and a beanie would probably summon all of them.
11: What does your OC want for their birthday?
Jisoo: their friends to have fun together.
Tanner: to see his grandma
Juri: to see her family
Kosma: to see his family (suffer)
Mark: a cake
Tahani: to not have to be
Signe: so much alcohol
12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?
They do get Tanner a cat once.
13: Describe your OC’s living situation.
They do live in a prison so…
14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?
Well, their backstories aren’t really revealed directly, they just sort of figure things out about each other.
Jisoo has deadbeat dad who signed her up for the experiment for the money he would get
Tanner can’t read/write/count
Kosma’s parents don’t love him (it’s more elaborate but that’s the gist of it)
Mark went to juvie for attempted murder
Juri has six younger siblings she has to take care of
Tahani was kicked out of home and lived on the streets for years before she applied for the experiment
Signe… well Signe signed up to the experiment, and this is one secret we do find out directly cause its plot-related, because her brother was in the military but was killed in action. Except two days after his funeral she received a phone call from him that said “don’t believe what they’re saying” with a very strange noise in the background.
15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?
Before the experiment I think only a few of them would go back. Jisoo is too young to know what to do, Mark would probably not attempt murder and Signe would save her brother somehow, the others I think are fine. Maybe Juri would ask her parents not to have so many kids. After the experiment they’d only go back to not be tossed into an interdimensional oceanhole against their will.
16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?
Umm they already have a superpower, it’s called friendship.
17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?
Dude they went through eight years of torture to become supersoldiers, they’re surviving and also saving the entire world. With the power of friendship.
18: What is your OC’s dream job?
Prior to the experiment. Jisoo – unicorn, Tanner – locksmith, Kosma – racecar driver, Mark – teacher, Juri – car mechanic, Tahani – mechanical engineer, Signe – no fucking idea my dude.
19: Your OC’s life is a musical. What’s the title of their big show-stopping song?
Well, dunno if these would suit a musical but…
Jisoo: Colony House – You & I
Tanner: Amber Run – Amen
Kosma: Ruelle – Take It All
Mark: Welshly Arms – Legendary
Juri: X Ambassadors – Joyful
Tahani: Bishop Briggs – Hallowed Ground
Signe: Never Gonna Give You Up, definitely, she’s doin’ it.Jesus these are all spot on I’m going to #cry
20: Post a picture or gif that describes your OC.
I ain’t gon’ do that cause I’m tired.
pretty wild that you can just write whatever you want and no one can stop you
I was thinking, because this new story idea of mine is… well, it’s doing something. There’s a huge chunk of story that happens before the actual story happens but I still wanted to have it in the story to show how the characters come together but it’d just be for the sake of introducing the characters and how their relationship formed but it doesn’t have much to do with the actual story… so I could go in medias res as I tend to do but still write the beginning even before November as a sort of warmup to the characters themselves, as this supplementary exposition so I would get a better feel at what the characters already know and feel by the time we get to the actual story.
And then I wouldn’t have to worry about building that into the structure cause who gives a shit.
But in the same time it does start with a betrayal that only makes sense if the beginning is in it. But technically then I could start it like… a section before that so you do know what’s going on. I’ll figure it out.
I was thinking, because this new story idea of mine is… well, it’s doing something. There’s a huge chunk of story that happens before the actual story happens but I still wanted to have it in the story to show how the characters come together but it’d just be for the sake of introducing the characters and how their relationship formed but it doesn’t have much to do with the actual story… so I could go in medias res as I tend to do but still write the beginning even before November as a sort of warmup to the characters themselves, as this supplementary exposition so I would get a better feel at what the characters already know and feel by the time we get to the actual story.
And then I wouldn’t have to worry about building that into the structure cause who gives a shit.
In my current story idea I have a group of people who go through a number of tests and so I have this chart that tells me how they do in each test that goes worst – bad – good – best, and poor MC’s column is just full of “bad” and “worst” and anyway I love her.
look at that absolute disaster girl at the end.
In my current story idea I have a group of people who go through a number of tests and so I have this chart that tells me how they do in each test that goes worst – bad – good – best, and poor MC’s column is just full of “bad” and “worst” and anyway I love her.
Pass Through Fire 