Tag: mediocre young adult writer problems

ill say this tho. jay from lucid isnt me and the relationships she has dont mirror my relationships but i do put so much of my thoughts and experiences in her and make her word them in ways i havent even talked about them with myself and its kind of cathartic. but maybe this works? cause i think im a piece of shit but jay is amazing and i want to protect her so maby eprojecting isnt such a bad thign right now.

Lucid playlist, wheeeeeeee

Without linking and stuff cause I’m way too nervous about midnight to be looking for songs on youtube and shit. This playlist is also known as the Nothing But Thieves/twenty one pilots/Imagine Dragons discographies. 

01 twenty one pilots: Migraine
am i the only one i know
waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
shadows will scream that i’m alone
but i know we’ve made it this far, kid

02 Kesha: Bastards
don’t let the bastards get you down, oh no
don’t let the assholes wear you out 

03 Nothing But Thieves: Soda
i don’t wanna be myself, it’s making me so unwell
i don’t wanna be myself, just wanna be someone else

04 Imagine Dragons: Monster
i’m taking a stand to escape what’s inside me
a monster, a monster, i’ve turned into a monster
a monster, a monster and it keeps getting stronger

05 Nothing But Thieves: Get Better
am i gonna get better, better?
because this feels like this might last forever
will i ever get better?
war is raging in my head, don’t know which side wants me dead
even if i’ve lost the fight you should’ve seen the other guy 

06 Sia: I’m In Here
i need you to hold
all of the sadness i can not
living inside of me 

07 Elvis Presley: Can’t Help Falling In Love (shutupppp it makes sense)
take my hand
take my whole life too
for i can’t help falling in love with you 

08 Nothing But Thieves: Particles – Piano Version
my mind plays tricks
and i don’t sleep no more
doctor, please
can’t switch off

09 twenty one pilots: Truce
the sun will rise
and we will try again

10 Florence + the Machine: Wish That You Were Here
and i never minded being on my own
then something broke in me and i wanted to go home
to be where you are 

11 dodie: Secret For the Mad
you’re at the bottom, this is it
just get through, you will be fixed
and you think that i don’t get it
but i burned my way through and i don’t regret it 

12 Kesha: Rainbow
i can’t lose hope
what’s left of my heart’s still made of gold 

13 Imagine Dragons: It Comes Back to You
it comes back to you, it comes back to you
all the things that you had lost will find their way to you

14 Walk the Moon: One Foot
cross my heart and hope to die, taking this one step at a time
i got your back if you got mine, oh, one foot in front of the other 

15 Bastille: The Anchor
you’re the anchor that i tie to my brain
cause when it feels when i’m lost at sea
you’re the song i sing again and again 

16 Don Diablo: What We Started
i’m takin’ every chance i get
to make us who you won’t forget 

17 Cold War Kids: Can We Hang On?
if you’re dying to live
if you want to know the secret, hang on 

My plans for today are:

  • survive work
  • grind loot boxes until close to midnight
  • get a coffee
  • start NaNo at midnight

I was already so excited yesterday I could barely concentrate and since I’m only at work one more day this week (on Thursday) I should finish a bunch of stuff if I want to get ahead with writing cause I won’t have that much time during the weekend. I should at least get a good 10k out ngl. Anyway.

I’M SO EXCITED

Lucid chapter summaries, 100% serious.

Chapter 1

“You’re new,” Jay said to the creature.
“You’re new,” the creature said to Jay.

Chapter 2

“You look like you want to be invited in.”
“I get that a lot.”

Chapter 3

“Aw man, a service dog is so much cooler than a succulent.”

Chapter 4

“Why is your hand in boiling water?”

Chapter 5

“I’d make a pretty boy.”

Chapter 6

"I have a key to his place.”
“You have a lockpick.”
“To his place.”

Chapter 7

“My mum’s face is dead.”
“Uh. Elaborate?”
“Her face is DEAD!”

Chapter 8

“Wrong window, Romeo.”
“My only Juliet’s landlord threw me out of her flat, can I crash at yours?”

Chapter 9

“The Day of Wreckoning is near.”
“That’s… dramatic.”
“I spelled it with a w, so like… wreckoning… like the wrecking ball… cause they’re gonna… wreck… the building…”
“We get it.”
“Do you?”

Chapter 10

“You told everyone your dad was dead.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“He’s at the door.”
“I lied?”

Chapter 11

“Can you come get me?”
“Where are you?”
“In a phone booth.”
“And where’s the phone booth?”
“Just sort of… around…”

Chapter 12

“They told me ‘nan, there’s a weird girl at work and she’s always sad’.”
“That’s me alright.”

Chapter 13

“We’re gonna have to loot a lot of vending machines to buy this.”

Chapter 14

“He didn’t survive the night.”
“Wait, that’s not funny.”

Chapter 15

“Excuse me, ma’am, is this imaginary shadow creature bothering you?”

Chapter 16

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we
truly are.”
“Is that from Harry Potter?”
“How’d you know?”
“You just called me Harry.”

Chapter 17

“Send the crying children forward.”
“But they’re not crying.”
“Make them cry then send them forward.”

Chapter 18

“What does CPS stand for anyway?”
“Children Protect Snails.”
“Cheerful Pals Singing.”

“C’mon, Pancakes Suck.”

“Celebrate Pediculosis Secretly.”
“Ew.”

Chapter 19

“I tried sneaking in but I fell up the stairs so I had to pay the security guard to not tell anyone. And also to let me upstairs.”

Chapter 20

“Listen I’m a queer kid living in a conservative household, far be it from me to recommend anything
that involves the word therapy but…”

Chapter 21

“Hey… what’s my name?”

Chapter 22

“This is usually where I’d have to monologue for a few minutes but I’m afraid of public speaking.”

Chapter 23

“Alibis are like underwear. I just love it when they match.”

Chapter 24

“I should’ve read the Terms and Conditions.”

Chapter 25

“Oh no, we’re stuck in a badly written metaphor!”

Chapter 26

“Are
you for real right now?”
“I don’t know, am I?”
“That’s not funny.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I’m gonna…”
“Are you?”