“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize
“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”
– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise
this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis
“Pick a god and pray.”
-Fredrick from Fire Emblem Awakening
Huh, it’s almost like art isn’t just fine art…
this is my addition to this ever growing list of raw quotes originating from unexpected sources
2) We don’t want to pause our music to talk to you.
3) We don’t even talk to each other on the phone — why would we want to talk to you?
But the biggest reason is A TRAIL. If I e-mail you back, you can see what was said in the future. You can’t tell me I forgot to tell you something because it’s right there. You can’t tell me I “never reached out” because we can both SEE it. I don’t have to trust your recollection.
And, in a group inbox, you can see who has been responded to. I got forwarded a voicemail from my supervisor (through e-mail! imagine that!) asking me to call some lady back for clarification. So I did, against my will of course…and she said somebody had called her yesterday.
Who? When? What did y’all talk about? Is follow-up necessary?
Phone calls back and forth only work in a workflow where the standard procedure is to *log* phone calls in a shared system with a brief summary of what was discussed. Otherwise, y’all need to let us e-mail. It’s not just about a generation gap. It’s also about efficiency.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Any feedback can be proffered via e-mail.
EDIT
Also: let’s keep it real – we multi-task better than you do. If I’m on the phone with you, I’m FORCED to do that ONE thing and put whatever you want above all the other things I could’ve been doing. If you e-mail me, I can research what you want (while doing other things), find the solution (while doing other things), and offer it to you in a nice concise package (while doing other things) without sitting on the phone with you in awkward silence looking for the answer to whatever you think is urgent. (It’s not urgent. You’re not dying. I know it’s not urgent.)
OP is being kind in saying “i don’t have to trust your recollection.” people straight up lie, especially customers.
okay okay i cant not talk about potential vale sequels so here. BUT I MUST WARN YOU if you ever just even considered reading vale (i know what are the chances, none) please do because this post will RUIN THE WHOLE THING. a slightly revised version of it is online here if you want to give it a go, its a fun supernatural assassin/fun buddy detective story with twists and turns, its my favourite story i ever wrote so. maybe give it a go? if you’d like? then tell me how you like it? if at all? cooLm, @ MY SISTER DONT READ THIS
so because Vale ends with Vale and Cephas separated for EVER but… since the multiverse theory is all but confirmed its like bloody undertale/deltarune i get to do whatever the fuck i want,. there could be inifnite cephases and vales and… so when i was originally thinkina bout sequels i had this thought in my brain like… the beacons somehow fuck up and they literally MERGE the two worlds featured in the first story. Cephas and Vale would meet again and together theyd have to figure out what happened. i didnt really have a direction for it i just wanted them to meet again.
but so then… now… i was thinking… and i also dont have a lot of direction for this as well but im thinking… because cephas told vale he would never stop trying to find a way back for her. what if he fucks up majorly… or does something that lands him in a world with vale… but a different one. like, have you guys seen the show sliders? bloody same thing (almost) like when they get to a world thats like theirs but then the main dude is like “our fence gate used to make a noise if it doesnt make a noise its not our world” and then the gate doesnt make a noise so they leave the world and then a minute later a dude comes out of the house like “hey i fixed the gate” so it turned out it was their world but… whatever you know what i mean.
so cephas would seek out vale’s help except this vale doesnt know about anything. the blight was never a threat there, maybe her parents could be alive (but most importantly i could finally write her in a poly relationship with morlene and lourdes whih would be tOIT AS SHIT). AND on top of it all it could be from cephas’ POV which would be interesting as all hell. hes my naive and good-hearted boy, in ways hes so similar to vale but so different as well. plus i could play with so many different things in this world. since theres no blight i could introduce the mainland which had never been too elaborated on.
further brainstorming included them not being versions of each other but literal twins, except in one version of the universe the girl gets born in the other the boy does, but maybe… mAYBE they were both supposed to get born but then they didnt or whatever but it also involves the blight actually being a force similar to destiny and it connecting the worlds and trying to pull them into each other would be it trying to fix its mistake of both twins never ending up in the same world (but that not being able to work of course because then there would be two of everybody else so inevitably they would always have to end up apart from each other)
this would also tie in to how i consciously never mentioned a god or religion in vale. the people of caelmoor are only familiar with the concept of hell, not god, though there is one church mentioned in the story. so you know… like…. that could be a connecting motive. like the blight being… you know, a Force, a higher power, that manifests as a cancerous infection when not in-between dimensions.
idk why i got such a boner for destiny being twisted and changed and shit happening that both kickstarts the events of the story AND gives the main characters the devices needed to fix the course of events. that was what leaper was about as well; chase was never supposed to live past the age of four but because she did she got all these supernatural powers that eventually led to her being able to go back in time and let herself die.
yeah, that was a fun one.
but vale is the same, like vale accidentally ended up on the wrong side and was left only tethered to her own world hence giving her the timey-wimey powers thad led to her being able to pull herself back through the gate in the past hence restoring the order.
damn, i liked doing a smart thing so much once in my life that i did it TWICE
The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.
I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA
leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days
Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly. Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs,
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear. Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)… Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.” Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing… Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln. Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever– they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
Thanks to this wonderful smackdown, the only comment I feel the need to make is that evidently pouring a massive blob of ketchup straight into your hand will literally force the soul from my body for 20 minutes.
Pass Through Fire 