me back in 2015 april: mr. boss sir, excuse me, could i mayhaps ask a question of you, but i can wait if you’d like omg im so sorry i even took a breath from the oxygen in ur room :<
me three & a half years later: yo bossman i got three questions and no time to fuck around so listen up
Tag: i ramble
if i were a viner and vine was still a thing id make a funny vine where i sit in front of a hamburger saying “im going to eat it slowly and enjoy every bite” but by the time i finish the sentence ive eaten the hamburger already
The Distant Sounds of Me Crying #14
This fucking suuuuuuucks.
Monday: 503 calories
Tuesday: 608 calories
Wednesday: 585 calories
Thursday: 579 calories
Friday: 542 calories
Saturday: 588 calories
I don’t have a lot of hope. If last week I ate a daily average of 526 calories and couldn’t lose more than a single kilo then idk what my body could do with this. WISH I COULD WORK OUT FOR SURE. Under 70kg would be nice. For sure.
Please?
FFS what’s my body even doing? I eat very little, I lose 1kg, I eat WAY MORE I lose 1.4kg, whaeh????
Anyway I’m 69.2kg :33333333333 So if I do it for one more week I should technically be able to reach 68.3kg next weekend (unless my digestive system has an aneurysm and doesn’t do IT PROPERLY) which would put me at 25kg lost since I started this :3 Which would be neat af :3 So Imma do that. And then starting from next weekend I can gradually adjust myself to bigger calories. First 800, see how that goes, than 1000 if it goes well, then 1200 and eventually stop at around 1500-ish.
im scared of my weighing tomorrow :[ im like, so at the end of my patience and my energy now, i just want it to be overrrr
My diet is showing.
aaahhh im so scared of dyeing my hair pink x)
How nice would it be to be able to have someone i can go up to physically and tell them “hey bro im goin thru some shit can i hug u n stuff”
If you want to know what’s stronger in me, my actual hunger after eating a daily averga of 550 calories all week or my anxiety, here’s what’s happening at the moment.
The hamburger place I go to for my Sunday hamburger opens at 10AM but they’re usually not ready to serve hamburgers until 10:30 because idk their… hamburger making machines aren’t ready yet idk, they’re a pastry shop first and foremost so I don’t blame them for not being ready for hamburgers right away.
There’s an even that takes place at one of our memorials today that starts at 10AM. Apart from the fact that I should be there a lot of my co-workers and specifically my two bosses are gonna be there too. That’s fine. BUT the event moves from the statue to an indoor venue and there’ll be this whole fuckin… procession from one place to another and the route they take (it’s like 500m too) is where the hamburger place is. But it’s gonna be quite slow cause there’ll be horses n shit.
They’ll be on that road at 10:30 when I’d be going to get my hamburger but because I don’t want to fucking meet anyone I’m willing to starve another full hour to make sure the whole thing is gone by the time I get there.
And if you’re like “oh but Tia an hour is nothing” yOU DON’T GET IT
YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE
[[jacksfilms voice]] So Close #13
This week was surprisingly easy but I guess it’s because I was too stressed out to worry about food so… that’s one use of stress, I guess.
Monday: 496 calories
Tuesday: 500 calories
Wednesday: 561 calories
Thursday: 562 calories
Friday: 501 calories
Saturday: I was sitting so pretty on 498 calories then my mum handed me a whole ass tuna salad so… 539 calories.
Remember when I worked out? Good times.
I still don’t have a place to work out :3
Ideally I’d be at 70kg this Sunday but that’s way too ambitious (I always say this lol, believe me I know, it’s part of the process of trying to please the gods) so I guess I’d be fine with a 70.5kg too. And if I’m not below 71 I’m going to lose my goddamned mind.
GAHH I’M 70.6KG THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
It’s okay though, I know that the less you weigh the slower you lose weight, it’s fine, it’s fine, 1kg is a good enough accomplishment (she lied, trying to convince herself). It’s okay. I’m mostly frustrated because I want to reach 69kg by the end of the month and if I don’t I’m gonna be pissed cause I want. to eat. a fuckin…. normal… christmas. dINNER.
That’s it, anyway, two and a half hours until hamburger.
Idk if I should go for a fringe when I go to the hairdresser or not. If my skin wasn’t so goddamn greasy I would do it in a heartbeat but this way I feel like it’d just make me insecure as hell. I’m still gonna go short as fuck but I might just get something low maintenance that I can push back under a headband and looks good to go.
Pass Through Fire 