I don’t even want to comment anymore ok. I’m just tired and I want to eat a goddamned isler. (click through it is AMAZING)
So… the goal would be… 76kg I guess which is ridiculous. 76.5kg would be more realistic I guess. If I’m not at 76.5kg I’m not allowing myself the hamburger. Which would be… a shame… I’d say I’m not feeling good about this week either but like… ugh… what’s the point…
……
alright so I’m 74.9kg shut up. (that is weird tho, I think I must have been less last week because 2.7kg in a week is a bit absurd even for the amount I eat)
im eating my hamburger and its so fucking good.
i would go fucking crazy without these sundays.
Hnnynyyyyy :[ #9
I… hate….
This week I took it super strict because I was so disappointed last week. Please keep your judgments to yourself, I know I’m a fucking idiot.
I only worked out once this week because I just have no spACE I just have no goddamned space I’m so pissed because of it. Alright so… I was 79.4 last week. Obviously the minimum is 78.4… which I don’t feel like I’m gonna hit… but it’d be still nice. 78kg would be ideal… I’m just kinda disheartened atm.
Sunday edit: ok I’m 77.6kg no need to panic lol. Imma eat the biggest hamburger in a few minutes lol good job me.
We went out shopping for New Clothes today since most of my old ones look like a potato sack on me now and umm last time (last winter, actually) we went shopping for jeans I had to get a size 37 (like, idk what measurement system that shop uses ok, it said size 37) and this time I fit in a size 33 (my waist is currently 66-68cm i think so thats a UK size 8 maybe?).
And Boy.
Lemme tell ya.
I feel like I have to mention every time that I hate that I care about my weight but…
In my 25 years of life, this was the first time ever I went into a fitting room and did NOT come out feeling like I just want to cry and never leave my house again.
Hello, I’m Tired #8
So this Sunday marks two months since I started this diet and let me tell you. It sure is effective (though I haven’t weighed myself when I’m writing this). A few good things is that my relationship with food remains unchanged: I don’t see food as the enemy and I only rarely see people who try to get me to eat more as the enemy x) Getting an eating disorder isn’t what I was trying to achieve with this, obviously, so that’s good.
But this week was so incredibly trying and exhausting that I just can’t bring myself to write a big summary of my first two months. So like. It’s bad. Don’t do it. I’m only doing it because I’m really stupid.
Monday: 677 calories (started the day with an ice coffee, what do you know) Tuesday: 613 calories (i forgot to have breakfast and only ate soup for dinner) Wednesday: 722 calories (the tasty water i had that day had calories in it so, unfortunate) Thursday: 622 calories (im hungry, thanks) Friday: 673 calories (i had some apple juice, unfortunate) Saturday: 632 calories (i made the mistake of having a cappuccino)
Alright, no gif cause I’m angry, I’m at 79.4kg which means I only lost 1kg last week which is the least I’ve lost in a week so now I’m angry. I was supposed to have a hamburger today but the place only opens at 10AM so that’s a sign that I’m not gonna fuckin have a hamburger today :[
I’m also gon’ go back to working out every day. Cause idk if I said it already but I was skipping every other day this week but apparently it don’t work so…
/sad
I should’ve known, this whole week was cursed nothing good happened so idk why I expected better. Anyway next week’s gonna be like this too cause I’m gonna have so much work to do I’m going to die so I might as well use Hell Week 2.0 to pick up the pace out of pure angst.
im so hungry im going to Die imma get a hamburger tomorrow, my mum insists that the place i wanna get it from is open on sundays so if it isnt im probably going to cry
eating an entire apple for dinner what a mad lad
All of My Clothes Are Big For Me Now and That’s Both Awesome and Really Not Cool #7
My co-worker was like “oooh you gotta get a new wardrobe now” and I’m like ????? last time I bought clothes was three years ago unless you wanna bump me higher on the payroll I don’t fucking think so. Though I have to admit my jeans look ridiculous on me but they’re the only pair I have so… x)
So this week I’m gonna do something I haven’t researched which will probably end catastrophically but that’s basically how I do anything in my life so it shouldn’t be anything new. Since on Saturday I doubled my exercise I want to keep that going. The usual routine isn’t exactly a challenge anymore but I also don’t feel like it’s taking me anywhere further so I want to just double the whole thing (except for the situps because 300 situps is doable but just fucking absurd, so let’s leave that at 200).
Thursday edit: actually I’ve been dropping dumbbell lunges because I’m just so exhausted every day I can’t bring myself to do them. I hope my thigh exerciser comes quickly and I can do thigh exercises from a lying down position. Damn you, spine injury! Plus I’ve been doing reverse curls as well and it’s crazy how much they switch the emphasis to your forearms, it’s delicious.
Also I don’t wanna brag but my biceps are loookkkkking goooood. They’re not really biceps for now it’s more like a sigle cep. But it pumps like crazy.
This week I’m on my period so I’ve been more strict with calories, I enter more than I actually eat so I don’t overeat while I’m shedding my insides through my vagenda, thanks.
Monday – 641 calories (I had scrambled egg whites and they were disgustinnggg I couldn’t even eat all of it) Tuesday – 677 calories (I allowed myself the luxury of two pieces of salami) Wednesday – 653 calories (idk why people are shitting on kale, it’s fucking awesome and you can eat like forty pounds of it!) Thursday – 651 calories (meat continues to betray me) Friday – 674 calories (i had like a single broccoli thing for lunch so I allowed myself the luxury of a soda again) Saturday – 542 calories (ahh the wonders of sleeping in and only eating scrambled eggs and fucking bread crumbs)
On Friday and Saturday I fucking skipped workout altogether even though my thigh exerciser came in the mail. I’m constantly tired and in pain, on Friday because I had a bus ride and on Saturday because I was tidying my room up for hours. I’m not happy with this and I’m very disappointed in myself. The goal tomorrow would be below 81.5 because then I’d be super motivated to work out even more next week to finally reach below 80 for the first time in four and a half years!!
…
Drumrollllllllllll
Okay no worries I’m 80.4kg
two days skipping workout cause im too tired hahhahaha this is fine :’D if im not below 81.5kg tomorrow im going to scream at my own asshole
Look at this o/ Yellow line is my planned weight loss, green is my actual weight loss, and my ideal weight is between the two red lines.
Pass Through Fire 