Tag: bye

2017 was off to a terrible start, right out the gate, and it pretty much defined my entire year. It was tense, it was sad, it was honestly terrible, but I can’t ignore that I was so lucky to have had a whole arsenal of positivity to help me survive.

Starting with embracing my bisexuality a liiiittle bit more (not completely there yet but I’m on my way), my Critical Role obsession reached so far unseen heights and I learnt so much from it, including that I am physically perfectly able to sleep two hours and get up at 3AM to catch the stream live on the internet before and during work.

Then Night in the Woods entered my life, I saw Kensington live, The OA was an amazing experience, Black Mirror fucked me up, I bought a hundred and ten dice for fun, Logan broke my heart, I started playing Overwatch which is actually the first online multiplayer I’ve ever played and I’m not bad at it, I played and thoroughly enjoyed the two last Saints Row games, and then The Wait for Broken Machine began and brought numerous amazing moments into my life (like getting a shoutout from the Radio 1 guy for staying up until 1AM to hear the new track drop)

I could eventually see Bastille live after having to cancel in February, the new Life is Strange game came out, new TLOU content got released, the new Stranger Things season was amazing, NaNoWriMo prep was good, in November my mum, my sister, and I could go to a weekend getaway to a spa/hotel thing that was amazing albeit a little short ;_; I kicked the hell out of NaNoWriMo’s butt, I finally made Brooklyn Nine-Nine enter my life (that sounds way too sexual), and of course the Vienna trip happened where I got to see a favourite band with some favourite friends (I could like individually list every little thing that happened during that trip but it’d be like twice the length of this post) ^^ Also I got a new laptop and played the shit out of Dishonored 2 in December, that was fun. Also December saw the rebirth of my love for Dan and Phil, I don’t even know how that happened but I’m glad x)

I think my depression is getting worse, in April I had a pretty bad breakdown, the worst in my life so far and every day I’m terrified that the next one is around the corner. I can fight my OCD but I don’t know what to do about the depression (don’t give me advice, I know what I should do) and there’s just so much stuff I want to do that I can’t because it’s crippling me. One being talking more to my friends, like actively talking to them not just throwing a short reply their way when they write to me. I want to write more, create more, everything, anything.  I want to get out of here, I want a purpose,

I want to figure out what I want to do with my life, I want to spend time with real-life people, my friends, any of them and all of them, I want experiences and I want more hugs, happiness and laughs, I want to stop putting myself down, I need to stop putting myself down.

And I try, I really do try, I know that’s not what it looks like but I really do. But maybe this arbitrary celebration of an orbit around the sun completed will give me the boost I need. Probably not as I’m back to my soul-sucking work next week that does everything it can to just devour every bit of joy in my life but I need to keep trying. And I will.

And I love you guys, so much, every one of you. Everyone I follow, everyone that follows me that I never followed back cause I’m awful, just all of you, you’re the best and part of my safe place from the big bad real world. When I look for solace, I look to you lot and you don’t even have to do anything special to give me peace, just be. Out in the real world, at my job I’m surrounded by people, never alone yet completely lonely, but on here I’m sitting in my bed all on my own but never lonely.

Okay, I do feel lonely no matter where I am from time to time but that’s just part of the whole depression thing.

Alright, I’ll stop being a fucking emo-fest now, half of this probably didn’t even make sense and y’all prolly won’t even read this but w/e, ilu, bye.

Here’s my NBT dream setlist in no particular order. I’ll skip the ones that are obviously getting played like Amsterdam and stuff.

  • Soda (they’re actually playing this song these days and if I hear it live I’m going to Drop Dead right then and there, I swear to god)
  • Live Like Animals
  • Get Better
  • Graveyard Whistling
  • Hell, Yeah
  • Honey Whiskey (there’s absolutely no way but a girl can dream, I’m not even going to add Tempt You cause they never play that)
  • Hanging
  • Lover, Please Stay

Idk they have a bunch of singles most of which they’ll play I guess, I’d love to hear Itch and Wake Up Call, I don’t know how much they’ll skip to give the new songs space. 

I’ll have you know that I’ve been pretty constant about posting to my review blog so check it out or don’t. It’s topical cause the last post I made is of Hold Me Tight or Don’t.

If you do you’ll be able to read many of my professional insights of popular culture such as:

  • “If I want to rate anything it’s Conor’s fashion sense which on a scale of 10 is a huge ???“
  • “…I’m not a professional or in any way contractually obliged to do anything I don’t feel like doing…”
  • “Help, I’m trapped in wordpress and I can’t stop writing about obscure indie games…”
  • “I’m just saying, I’m not completely at fault here. For that reason I’m not going to fix this article.”
  • “I wanted to be a fucking asshole and give it nine and a half stars but I’m not going to. ‘Cause I’m a professional.”

  • ““First of all, I don’t like RPG’s,” said 2015!me when I first got recommended Undertale.”

One(?) gifset per episode || 29 Whispers

Following him back to a home, it was discovered that Sir Kerrion, one of the individuals responsible for the death of Percival’s family, was still part of the ruling class [in Whitestone]. The party then snuck in through the bottom of the building, stealthed into a full surprise ambush upon him and his compatriots, and murdered most of them. They took his toadie, essentially, Vouk, and instead of murdering him, tore out his tongue and then burned the de Rolo family crest into his forehead before throwing him out the window. The party then escaped into the night rain, returning to their tavern.