astrology is real, witchcraft is real, magic is real, dreams whisper about the future sometimes, miracles happen and soulmates exist! and thats the tea!
and the moon loves you and watches over you every night! run n tell that!
How anyone can deluxe themselves into believing any in any of this stuff in 2018 is utterly baffling.
Aries: Rip a guy’s heart out with your bare hand while your best friend makes it rain 10 million dollars
Taurus: Slap your friend’s ass because a dead CEO possessed your robotic arm
Gemini: Just scoop that general’s eyeball out with a spork. Just fucking do it.
Cancer: Blow a crime lord’s head off while cool sunglasses fall from the sky and onto your face in a freezeframe
Leo: Serious finger-gun shootout with all of the Hyperion accounting team
Virgo: Bro that’s bro bro for bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro
Libra: Get arrested for shooting a diamond pony statue at a VIP tour and then watch it bleed
Scorpio: Here’s a tiny broken flying and perpetually screaming robot that can shock people and then die, have fun
Sagittarius: That’s it. Peel that face off like a serial killer. You’re sick.
Capricorn: Escape certain death via contact-activated-dopamine-injecting CEO wheely chair
Aquarius: Order a robot to push over an Atlas statue by its butt cheeks
Pisces: All the money you saved for the Mystery Vault Hunter is for Claptrap
Pass Through Fire 