doujinshi:

anue:

Friend: how do you say i love you in german

Me: ich liebe dich

Friend: i also love dick

das ist so traurig alexa spiel 99 luftballons

gobbeecompany:

gobbeecompany:

gobbeecompany:

my dad: a cryptid

-once woke me up by kicking my bed really hard until i looked at him and then locked eyes with me, drank an entire cup of coffee without breaking eye contact, and then silently left the room

-wordlessly stuck a picture of justin trudeau on my wall, left if there for three months, and then took it down without explaining himself

-walked into the house and said “is it gonna look funny?” and when i said “what?” he shook his finger at me and walked away

-once before bed came into my room and kissed my forehead, said “no homo,” and left

-once came into my room while brushing his teeth, stared at me for five minutes, gave me a thumbs up and left

-once got upset that there was no bench in a forever 21, said “they’re trying to punish us. for being hetero, probably.”

-almost fell out of a hammock while i was typing this

i went into the kitchen and my dad was eating crackers and he said “theres nothing to see here.”

me: i wanna go see ant-man

my dad: you can’t see him he’s too small