Tag: amazing

laughlikesomethingbroken:

bemusedlybespectacled:

spiritednug:

z-nogyrop:

lovelylovelyartist:

theorynoodle:

mezzodical:

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!

Wizard: I bring helium baloons into the carriage.

DM: Inventor, roll a saving throw for intelligence.

*rolls a 1*

DM: The car’s not built for helium balloons!

Inventor: Ah, we’re flyin’ awee!

dahichu:

scrims:

scrims:

scrims:

ppl who are shy at first but become obnoxious and loud once theyre comfortable around you r awesoem. hold on  a sec wait pt this text ost on hold. theres pirate ship outside my window right now whath the 

I LIVE BY A R river I CANT GET A CLEAR picture its turnign around

image

Whatever I was expecting from this post wasn’t this

londonhowell:

je-suis-un-espion:

thesteppinrazor:

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.

bolded. just in case.

i feel like that pro tip is told from experience