Tag: amazing

ohdionne:

ohdionne:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.

this has gained over 18,000 notes in the last 24 hours and I feel the need to tell y’all that I’ve never seen a star wars movie all the way through. when I wrote this I was 100% relying on the hope that he didn’t run in the films or some nerd was gonna drag my ass

OPEN RP

sn0wbro:

torbjorn:

“Šít øñ Däddÿ Śāńtå’š łáp mÿ frēšh łìttłę tørbłè.” Śàñtâ whò wãš æçtüâłłÿ Tōrbjörôñõńœrñøbòńrjörñbjørñ íń å čłëvér dîšgūįśē jäñgłėd hīś bêéfÿ jïñgłę bëłłš ìń ã fēśtïvé bút śûłtrÿ mâńñèr.

eponineinthebarricade:

didyousaymaraudersormurder:

dovewithscales:

hyratel:

dovewithscales:

messy-scandinoodle:

dovewithscales:

virtuous-thing:

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:

heartgemsona:

erotic-yoddeling:

bemusedlybespectacled:

nonlinear-nonsubjective:

sonneillonv:

castiel-for-king:

maliwanhellfires:

just-shower-thoughts:

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

consider the coconut

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

This post is a journey

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits.

Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses.

Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

I MEAN where’s the lie

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this?

Everyone: Australia.

WAIT A PLATYPUS IS VENOMOUS

…I GIVE UP

lamsandjeffmadstrash:

patrickat:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

wsswatson:

skygosh:

wsswatson:

i feel like i’d enjoy being an assassin if it didn’t involve killing people

what if instead of killing people you got hired to just ruin their day.  like the mafia or someone paid you to park behind someone’s car so they can’t back out of a spot when they’re in a rush in the morning and you make them late for work.

i would enjoy that immensely

there is a long list of people that i would gladly do that to without payment

This is how low-tier supervillains start. 

“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be an asshole.”

pffff